In 2016 I crowd-funded and wrote a book about my 12-month long experiment about saying YES to my life, YES Quest.

I started writing the stories for the book during 2015 when I conducted the experiment, and then, after my Kickstarter was funded I wrote around 3000 words a day until the book was completed.

Then, once the physical book was completed, I then had to go through and READ the entire book into a microphone for the audiobook recording. By the end of that, I was completely over YES Quest and never wanted to look at it or think about it again!
 

After I released the book I slumped into a vulnerability hangover.

 

I would lie awake at night thinking about people all over the world reading my stories of failure, fuck-ups and struggle judging me for being a terrible mother, a wannabe, and a lousy author.

It took me three whole months before I could even look inside the pages of YES Quest again. But, as┬áthe positive feedback and stories of positive change rolled in, I was able to shake free from that feeling of being exposed. I wasn’t afraid of showing myself anymore, because I knew for a fact that my vulnerability was helping readers feel okay about who they genuinely are.

So, I figured that I’d get back into writing blog posts now that I’d recovered from the trauma of writing a book, but when it came time to actually sit down and actually write anything, I went completely blank.

In fact, the only thoughts that skipped through my brain were “I have nothing left to say” and “I don’t know how to do this anymore.”
 

Maybe I hadn’t recovered from book-writing trauma as quickly as I thought I had.

 

Every time I tried to even think about a blog post, I would freeze. My creativity was zapped into a black hole of nothingness. I just couldn’t do it. On the 12-month anniversary of finishing the book, I resided myself to the fact that I was never going to write a blog post ever again, and I was okay with that.

On the 12-month anniversary of finishing the book, I resided myself to the fact that I was never going to write a blog post ever again, and I was okay with that.

All the while, I had been sharing micro-blogs, short teachings and stories on Instagram and Facebook, but I found that SO easy. Why was blogging different? It really wasn’t, but it SO was.

So I had made peace with the silent death of my inner blogger, and then late one night, while I was trying to sleep, ideas started to arrive in my mind like they used to. As I allowed these ideas to flow through me, to expand and grow, I realised that they were bigger than a social media story, these little nuggets of divinely channeled wisdom were in fact, meant to be blog posts.
 

Could it be that my creative drive and my desire to write could just return suddenly after 12 months of evading me entirely?

 
I gave myself some time to reintegrate the idea of blogging again after I had shut down that part of myself (and my business), and I actually couldn’t wait to get back into it. As I fleshed out one idea, other ideas flowed to me. It’s like my mojo never left.

 So what was my secret for getting my creative fire to spark again? Two things…

+ I stopped trying to force it to happen before I was ready, and

+ I made peace with its absence and stopped needing it.

When I let go of the idea of writing a regular blog, I REALLY let it go. Like I put it to bed and surrendered it, and fully accepted that my future did not involve blog writing and I was completely fine with that. There was no secret wishing that my creativity would come back. I grieved for a little while and then released it fully so that it was no longer a part of me.

And then once I released the grips of (attempted) control, back it came without a single ounce of effort from me, beckoning to me to pick up where I had left off, writing regularly.

Force and need are icky vibes, don’t ya think?

Not just in relation to writing a blog, but absolutely everything that I can think of… relationships, career, Elsa-braids that you’re redoing for the 4th time. Both force and need breed feelings of desperation, which is obviously a mojo killer!
 

Creativity cannot be forced…

 
…and when we “need” it to happen on our time, we don’t create to our highest potential. Surrender, patience and acceptance are the keys to allowing your creative inspiration to return in its own time.

So here it is, my first extended blog post in over a year. I have plenty more to come, but if you enjoyed this one, please leave a comment. And if you have something that you’d like to read about, please share! Now that I’m back in the swing of writing again, I’m very open to suggestions for what to write about. xx

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